My anus has been a functional part of my body, a closed door that never should let anything out unless sat firmly on a toilet. A closed door that keeps us safe from dirty shit and smells, a healthy door is one that stays firmly shut, untouched, closed.
I hear how others enjoy it, I have in my past been aroused by touch of my anus but through shame fear and ignorance pushed that touch away.
Tahlia worked on my head, neck, jaw, face, she gave strong beautiful therapeutic touch. I could feel from the inside, my own places of tension. She moved down my back and threw out tension through my feet, it felt so good, to throw it out. As Tahlia massaged my buttocks and hips and under my tail-bone I fell deep into my past…
I cried a little, then a lot, Tahlia held space for me to really feel that and let it go…. I wailed sobbed and was ready to move on. Tahlia moved into my hips and the ancient cry of my bones found voice. With Tahlia’s spirit voice, breath, and strength in holding deep massage, my ancestors’ calls were heard.
The pulsing in my body, which I feel often when I drop into my pelvic bowl intensified with the anal massage, the warmth, touch, sensations, vibrations and then deep pulsing. Tahlia stirred something inside me. Sensation running up my spine, down my front, up my spine, then connecting like a songline, the portal my anus is, a portal in the pelvic bowl with the throat, where so much emotion gets stuck, anus held closed, throat choking in cries, I saw the rope that connects the two… Tahlia sung, ancient deep Maori tones and my own voice joined hers, like a baby bird, feeling wings, connecting throat and anus…. Heard, held, and present. Anus, welcome to my body.
And I slept. A deep restful sleep. The universe has connected me with another angel and another part of my body.